38 weeks

I am SO sorry to even be writing a whiny bratty post but I have to talk to someone. I'm home by myself and no one around to talk to.

First off I can never express how lucky I feel to even be PG in the first place. It took us 18 months to get here and I am SO grateful to even experience this. That being said, I am so done now. I am ready to meet Aidan and hold him. I am ready to begin my life as a Mom and I just want him to be here. I am going on 4 hrs of sleep in the last two days. My carpal tunnel is ridiculous - something I thought I would be totally okay with b/c I have had Tendonitis since grade school but they are so different. It hurts to walk b/c Aidan is putting so much pressure on my pelvis. I never knew there would be this kind of physical pain. I feel horrible even bitching about this.

Anyways, my 38 week check up was yesterday afternoon. I was so excited to see how much I've progressed, see where I'm at. The pressure has gotten so much worse and my belly has dropped I thought for sure she'd be able to tell me SOMEthing good. Nope. Couldn't even FIND my cervix. It was so high up she couldn't even reach it. So I have no clue if I'm having any progress (1 cm dilated and 40% effaced last week) and I have no clue what is going on. I just want to have my baby! I'm starting evening primrose oil pills today - 3X a day. Next step if that doesn't start working in a couple of days is 10 drops of Black Cohash under my tongue every 3 hours. Then there are two more steps I can take after that to get me along. So at least I can do something to help dilate my cervix.

I'll keep you girls posted. Sorry I haven't been on as often - I'm trying to get ready for Aidan coming. I thought I'd be able to relax on my Mat leave but not yet lol. Sorry again for the whining post. But thank you so much if you listened this far. I just really need to talk to someone.

(((HUGS)))