Day 31

Self portrait and explain what you liked most about this challenge. 

Okay - here is my self portrait.  Excuse the wind blown appearance.  I took the kiddos to my gf's campsite for the day and we were outside.   That might excuse the extra pink cheeks too - I got a little sun! 

What I liked most.....I liked that this challenge helped me get back into blogging regularly. I liked that it help me think, really think, about myself. It helped me open up - put myself out there.  It helped me let "you" know me. It helped me save even more truths and stories and brought back some memories - both good and bad.  It helped me remember why I started blogging and makes me want to continue.  I need to get off my ass and be more active here. Maybe then I'll start getting more readers. Or maybe, I'll actually publicize my blog!  *gasp*  Maybe that won't make a difference but maybe it will. Maybe someone will think I'm funny as hell and they'll want to read what I have to say.  Maybe not, but whatever, that's cool.  I'm still gonna keep on cracking away at this thing. Hopefully with more regularity and even more of my personality coming through. 

Thanks for making it through with me!

Day 30

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Hmmmmm. I can honestly say I do not have a favorite. There is no flavor I go running to. I don't buy ice cream a whole lot when I go to the grosh, so it's not something I always have in the house. If i DO buy it I guess I buy Rocky Road. Is that the chocolate with the marshmallow and almonds swirled in?  That's the one I buy.......made by Breyers. 

If we take our kiddos to Dairy Queen I will get either a mini Oreo Blizzard made with vanilla ice cream or a small twist cone dipped in butterscotch. 

If we're out at some little old ice cream joint and they happen to carry it.....I'll get bubblegum. Yup, call me a 12 year old but it happens from time to time. There's just something about it. And yes, when it happens, I'm one of those absolutely disgusting types that saves all of the bubblegum in a napkin off to the side until the very end. Then I chew it for 5.2 seconds, until I realize what it really tastes like - then I spit it out. Because, if you have ever had bubblegum ice cream, you know how foul those little bits of bubblegum really are.   True story.

Day 29

What is your favorite time of the year and why?

Okay, I just can't narrow it down to one so I'm not going to.

I love Summer because of the glamping, the beach trips......toes in the sand anyone???  The longer days with the kids, the warmer days, the family time, the FUN.  I love wearing flip flops or running around outside in the grass with no shoes on at all.  Water balloon fights in the front yard and not being able to go outside til we're dry.  Sitting on the front porch at night talking.  I love it!!

I love Fall because we're still glamping but add in cooler nights by the campfire, apple picking, baking with the kids kicks back up again because it's not as hot out and I don't mind turning on the oven.  I love seeing the leaves change, I love wearing my boots, jeans, sweaters and cute scarves. I'm not talkin the big keep-you=warm scarves here, I'm talking about the cutsey lemme match my outfit ones.   I love cuddling up under the blankets and snuggling with my babies.  

Then Christmas-time.  The whole season.  And not for the presents.  I love seeing it all through my kids eyes again.  The carols, the lights, the tree, the decorations.  The sentimentality, the traditions, the spirit.  All of it.  It's just so (at the risk of making you gag with the sheer cheesiness of it) magical.  We love driving around to see all the lights.  Beautiful.  

So, there you have it.  My favorite times of the year.  There's no way I could narrow them down but I think you can forgive me.  

Days 23-28

A lot to catch up on here.  Mia culpa.  Between the weekend and some personal shit I've got going on I've fallen behind.  I'll make up for it all in one whack

Do you have a hobby?

I really don't think that I do??  Maybe reading?  Or glamping in the summer?  Aside from that I can't really think of anything I'd say that I do with any regularity that would count as a hobby.  Does laundry count?  I do that pretty damn regularly but I think hobby = something you enjoy doing and laundry definitely doesn't fall under that category.   So, no, I guess I don't have a hobby.   Next day please.

Describe your most embarrassing moment.

I think the most embarrassing moment for me probably happened on my wedding day.  John and I are up at the altar with my Maid's of Honor and his Best Men.  The priest is going through the ceremony and we're all up there just jibber jabbering away.  It was a full Catholic ceremony.  At one point John tells me one of his best men tells him he has a wedgie.  I say well, do you???  He says I don't know, I don't think so and does this little butt wiggle.  Yes, we're up in front of the whole church.  I start to lean back to look and then whisper NO, I'm not looking!!   Then I lean over and whisper John says Jim says he has a wedgie!  I told him I'm not gonna look!  We start giggling.  The Priest does the Holy Communion and we're all watching over our shoulder at the people coming up.  Some of them I don't even know.  One chick looks like Tropical Hooker Barbie.  I'm not even joking.  I say to John, who the hell is that?!   He says he THINKS it's his cousin.  He isn't even sure.  I turn to my MOH and I say "his side" all snarky.   Yeah, yeah, I know.  Then I look up and notice the video camera and I whisper to John do you think it can pick up what we're saying??  He says no, but I bet the microphone I'm wearing can!   I immediately go stock still.  Then  I lean over again and tell my MOH what just happened.  For the rest of the ceremony you see us all trying to be so good and so still but we'll erupt into a fit of giggles every now and then because we know everything we said is going to be on the video tape.  That's probably my most embarrassing moment.  I can't think of anything else.  

Describe your location

This one is easy.  I'm at my desk at work.  Here's half of it.  :-)

What's your favorite food?

I don't have just ONE favorite food.  But I'm an easy to please girl.  Stop laughing.  Seriously.  Most people would tell you I'm picky.  And I am - SUPER picky.  I own that 100%.   I know I am.   BUT - I like classic, "normal" foods.   Steak, potatoes, pasta, salad, bread, chicken, burgers, that kind of thing.  I LOVE raw veggies........carrots, broccoli, cukes, tomatoes, green beans, green peppers.  I love to cook.  I don't eat a lot of seafood at all.  I like Haddock and I like calamari.   That's about it.  Just not one for seafood at all.  Not a fan of Mexican either.  The closest I get is making tacos at home.  So, not one favorite food for this girl.  Sorry!

List 3 online friends you've never met in real life but hope to soon

Ohhhhh, good one!!!!   This one will be tough because I've been VERY lucky and I've been able to meet most of the girls that I really really really wanted to from my Mommy board.  Let's see.

1.  LeAnne.  For sure.  We've been talking for years, email almost every.single.day, have so much in common and I've been DYING to meet her.  I feel like I know her already because we do talk so much but it would be SO nice to meet her in person finally.

2. Ronlyn.  I was SO close to making this one happen last week.  She and her husband were in BOSTON and we were slated to meet right by my work but then my personal life hit the proverbial fan and I had to rush home.  I'm devastated.  *THIS* close and then it didn't happen.  I don't know when we'll have the chance again.  Again, we've been talking for years.............gosh, over 13-14 now I think!!  Ronlyn is my dirty book reading soul mate.  When I need another book to read she tells me where to go.  She was there for me in an instant last week and I'll never forget it. 

3.  I can't pick.  There is more than 1 person that fits in this slot so I'm not going to narrow it down.  Yup, I'm taking the easy way out and I'm pleading the 5th!!!  

What's your guilty pleasure?

Ummmmm?  I have no idea?  I honestly can't think of a single thing!!  

Day 22

What do you do when you're home all alone?

HA!!   OMG, this is hysterical.  I have 3 kids, what is this alone you speak of??  All alone??  I can't even pee alone!!  The only time I get to pee all alone is at work and even that is suspect.  Sometimes I have coworkers chatting me up in there!!  LOL!!!

Okay, okay, I'm just being fresh.  I totally do get some alone time because my husband is awesome and he will take the kids places every now and then.  Especially when we're camping.  On Fridays I do get about 2 hours to myself after I'm done volunteering / copying and before the kids come home from school.   

So, what do I do in those two hours?  If I don't have a hair appt or a dr appt then it could be any of the following:
laundry
cleaning up the house
checking email, facebook, my Mommy board online
catching up on the DVR - I'm always SO far behind.  I think I have the entire season of Revolution on there right now.  I'm not even joking.
Reading a book.
I'd love to say nap - but that never happens
Grocery shopping

If we're camping and John has taken the kids to the playground or the indoor pool (I can't go for more than 20 min b/c the chemical smell gives me a migraine)
do the dishes from whatever meal is in there
sweep up the floor
pick up anything lying about - I am SUPER OCD about the camper b/c it's limited space and I can't stand anything being out of place.
read

I think that's pretty much it.  I live a very exciting life, can't you see?

Day 21

What is your biggest fear?

My gut answer is dying.  I've always been afraid of death / dying.  For as long as I can remember, as far as I can think back, I've been terrified of it.  If I think about it long enough I'll have a panic attack.  It completely overwhelms me.  I'll panic, break down, cry.  It's debilitating.  But I try not to let it get that far.

Now that I have kids I'm afraid of something happening to them.  I try not to be that batshitcrazy Mom who thinks about it all the time.  I am raising them the right way (I think) so they know right from wrong, don't talk to strangers, don't go with anyone you don't know, make the right decisions, etc.  But I am well aware that there is only so much that I can do as a parent.  BUT, I'm here.  I made it this far.  I'm trying to have faith that they will be okay.  Although this world is a scary as hell place.  Things are SO damn different from when I was a kid and YES I realize my Mom just came out of my mouth but you know what I mean.  I can't even handle watching the news anymore because I am flabbergasted by what I see there!  It scares the hell out of me.  I pray that nothing ever happens to any of those three because they truly are the lights of my life and I can't imagine my life without them.  They are my entire world, my end all be all.   

Day 20

What do you collect?

Currently?  Nothing.  

I'm not a big collector of things.  I don't do clutter.  So I don't want a whole bunch of "things" cluttering up my house.  

For a while I went through a Willow Tree figurine phase.  I like those.  Some people think they are creepy because they don't have faces persay.  

Anyway.  I don't collect them anymore because I have the ones I wanted.  Once I say I like something John tends to go a little nuts and buy a bunch of them all at once.  Take the Alex and Ani bracelets for instance.  I bought one and then for any holiday/occasion I all of a sudden was getting them and now I have 7.  Oy.  He can get a little out of control.

So, yeah.  I'm not a collector.  

Holy $#%!............I did it!!!!

And I'm alive to tell the tale!  LOL!!!

I ran my first 5K on Saturday and I did pretty damn well.  I am really proud of myself.  Not something you hear out of my mouth very often but I really am.  I signed up a week before, I didn't train but I gave it my best effort and I ran it in 38:20.  I'm told that is a really great time for someone who isn't a runner and I'll take it.  

Now you know me and my mad storytelling skills so here is how it all went down. 

5:45a that morning I wake up........to torrential downpours.  W.T.F.  I couldn't go back to sleep after that.  I kept thinking to myself (okay, I might have been talking out loud to myself LOL) you're joking.  I'm going to get up off of my lazy ass and run for the first time in my life and THIS is the weather this is going to happen in?!  Really?!?! 

8a:  I'm ready to go and YAY - the rain has stopped!   YAHOOOOOO!

8:10a - Gael picks me up and we head out.  John and the kids will meet me up there in a little bit.  

So we get there and we hang out basically.  Turns out the kids started at 8:30a and the adults were starting at 9a.  So they do their speeches, they do their ceremonial things and the kids start off.   OMG they were the cutest things ever!!!   They get to run .6 miles and we all cheered them on.  Some of them were SO tiny and I'm not ashamed to say could totally kick my ass in any run, any day of the week.   Had I participated in the .6 I'm sure I would have been smoked by every single last one of them.  Must be nice to have endless amounts of energy. I don't know what that is like anymore.  *sob*

9a rolls around and it's my turn.  I'm terrified and I'm wondering where the hell my mind vacationed to when I decided it would be a good idea to say yes and register for this. WTH was I thinking?  I'm not a runner. (Scratch that.  I wasn't a runner because I'm told I now am.)  Anywho.   The guns go off - YES, literally, the GUNS WENT OFF.   After I wet my pants I took off.  Were guns really necessary?!  I honestly felt like ducking for cover but I would have been run the hell over by all of the people behind me if I had!   So I'm running - wait, I'm RUNNING!!!  Nice!  Off we go, we're running, it's great.  I can't keep this up forever, clearly.  I didn't train.  So I go a fairly respectable distance and I have to walk.  I'm realizing I have a fast walk though because Gael has to jog to keep up with my walk.   So we're just trucking away and we get to a point where Gael points and says "Yes Girl!  You just passed the 1 mile marker."  I literally turn to her and say Excuse me, you are fucking kidding me.  She says what, you're doing awesome!!  I want to cry.  I thought that was the 1 mile LEFT MARKER.   OMG.   I tell her I can't do it.   But of course I keep on going.  I'm not stopping, I'm just a big baby and I am hating this.  But I'm still running and walking when I need to.   Run, walk, jog, rinse, lather, repeat.   I do what I need to do and I push through.  

I get to where I can see where we need to go to finish and I push through and start running..........down the shoot I go.  38:20 is my final time.  I go and get water.  I get a banana.  I try not to fall over/pass out/puke.  I am sore but I did it.  Hell, two days later I'm still sore.  But I. Did. It.  I ran my first 5K............and I'm doing it again.  June 14th - bring on the next one!!!!  Maybe I'll actually train this time.....what do you think?  

My first official BIB!!!!!

Tiff and I before the 5K started

Mandy, Tiff and myself - we did it! (they weren't newbies but I was!)

The kids were proud of their Mama.  So cute!!!

Day 19

List 5 Blogs you read on a regular basis and why

Ummmmmmmmmm, I don't have 5 blogs I read on a regular basis!  

The ones that I have saved here on my blog aren't updated regularly enough for me to check them every day.  (come on you slackers.......get on it!  LMAO!!  If that isn't the pot calling the damn kettle black, I don't know WHAT is!  HA!!!)   I do check in on them to see if they HAVE been updated and, when they are, I definitely read them.   

But, other than that, I've got nothing.  

If you have a blog that you want me to read.............POST it here and I'll be happy to!!! :)

Day 18

Where are you happiest?

I am happiest anywhere my family is and we are all together. 

I am happy when we are at home and having a pajama day. If it's a rainy day and we're having a pj day, that's even better. 

I am happy in the summer when we're all at the beach together.  We usually do a trip with a group of friends and it's such a great time. 

I am happy when it's one of our Glamping weekends!  It feels like a mini vacation because we get away from home. If it's nice we're poolside all day, we're relaxing, having fun and spending time together as a family with no other obligations. It's wonderful. 

That's it, that's all I need for me to be truly happy and be at my absolute happiest. To be surrounded by the four loves of my life. There are other things that make me happy, for sure. But my happiest is being with them. 

Day 17

When and why did you start blogging?

I started blogging on January 23, 2009. 

I started blogging because I had been on an MSN message board for YEARS and it was closing down. I had so many posts on that board that were so important to me. Stories of my journey of TTC (trying to conceive) our first son, all the ups and downs, the meds, the procedures, the emotions, the negative pregnancy tests, the tears, FINALLY my positive pregnancy test, how I told John.  Stories of my sister in the hospital after her first seizure. Getting pregnant with Ryan.  Buying (and selling) our first house. Building our house. Etc, etc, etc. just things I didn't want to be gone forever now that MSN was shitting down its message board. So I decided to start a blog where I could copy and paste all of my most important posts and life events. 

That's how my. Log was born. I've tried to be good about blogging. Some days I'm good. Other days I really suck.  But it's here, it's mine and I will keep on trying!

Day 16

What's your biggest accomplishment?

This one is tough. I have a few that I'd say are pretty damn big.  In my opinion.  

1. Making it on my own at 17yrs old and beyond. I worked three jobs and did what I had to do to support myself.....and I made it. 

2. Aidan, Ryan and Erynn.  They are, by far, my pride and joy.  I may not be perfect but I know that I did something amazing. Three times. ;-)

3. Today, I ran/walked my first 5K. I'm pretty damned proud of myself for that. I've NEVER been a runner. I've wanted to do a 5K for two years and I've never followed through. Today I finally did.  AND I did it in 38min without training for it.  I can only improve from here!!

Day 15

List 10 things that make you awesome

You're shitting me, right?  Who the hell wants to do this???  I'm not good at self promotion. I'm pretty sure we all suck at it.  Okay, well, MOST of us anyway.  I've met some pretty freaking conceited people in my day that would probably rock the hell out of day 15 if I'm being honest.  Okay, let me give this a whirl.  For the record.  I'm starting at 8:16a.  Let's see how long this takes me.

1.  My sense of humor.  I think it's pretty damn good and I can usually make people laugh when I tell a story.  I am sarcastic and fairly witty and I find people will almost always find me amusing.  At least I think they do!! 

2.  I'm loyal.  Not in a dog kind of way.  Well, actually, maybe.  If you treat me right then you can count on me forever.  But once I find out you've back stabbed me I'll never be the same.  I get hurt easily and it's hard for me to forget.  It'll stay in the back of my mind forever.  

3.  My kids will tell you I'm an awesome Mom.  They'll say it because I'll buy them a Pokemon card set, Lego Friends or take them to the movies.  I'll say it because I get complimented on their behavior by their teachers or when I'm out in a store and they aren't acting like little animals.  I love that they want me to come to their school and volunteer or chaperone a field trip.  They WANT me around.  That makes a world of difference to me.

4.  I'm an awesome wife.  If you ask my husband he will tell you I run the world, in a good way.  Not like a demanding crazy person.  He'll tell you he can't do anything without me.  I just say I'm doing what needs to be done to keep our family going.  He thinks the world would fall apart without me.  We have our issues but he is the perfect husband for me, faults and all.  Even with the socks under the coffee table.  Ugh.  

4.  My party planning skills.  I think I can throw an awesome party.  Sure, I might Pinterest the hell out of it first but I'll whip up a cake or cupcakes to match that theme like nobody's business.  You want Angry Birds?  You've got it.  You want CandyLand?  Candy bar coming up.  Winter Wonderland?  I'm on it.  It makes me feel really good to be able to give my kids what they want.  It's their birthday party after all!! 
(OMG, this is really hard and I'm only at number 4?!?!  Can I phone a friend???)

5.  I'm dependable.  If you ask me to do something, I'll do it.  I won't back out on you at the last minute, I won't make excuses.  You can count on me.  Count on me through thick and thin our friendship I will neeeever end.  Oh, sorry, had a little Whitney moment there.  My bad.

6.  I work full time (just cram 40 hrs into 4 days) and I can still volunteer at school on my "day off" and be there for my kids.  I know a LOT of us do this.  So we are ALL awesome!!  YES - we are!!  So you all need to do your own Day 15 and put this in there.  But, since this is mine, I'm totally putting this under my why I am awesome list.  I get to do it all. MOST days, I somehow manage to pull it off.  I'm tired as hell and I have my craptastic days but I get to do it all.  I think that makes me pretty damn awesome.

7.  I'm resilient.  No matter what life throws at me I'll get back up and keep on trucking.  I've had some rough times.  I moved out on my own at 17 because my Mom moved across the country.  Because of this, I didn't go to college - I had to work to keep a roof over my head.  Had surgery to remove 3 tumors from my left breast in my early twenties.  Had another surgery to remove two more in my mid twenties.  Then another found and removed a couple of years ago.  Lost my Mom when I was 30.  Grew up without a Dad.  Had many other things happen in there but, you know what, we all have our shit.  I could have used any / all of this as excuses to make poor choices.  I didn't.  I wouldn't.  That's not me.  I took all of that and used it to make me strong.  I'm working in a job I love, in a great position, for a Top 100 company.  I have an amazing husband and three amazing kids. I'm doing it.  

8.  I'm open minded.  About pretty much anything.  I'm not rigid in my beliefs.  Now don't get that twisted - I HAVE my own beliefs but I won't try to force them on you and make them yours.  I can have an objective conversation and I can be generally curious about other opinions.  I have a great curiosity about a lot of things.  But then I can walk away and not be angry or argue my point.  It's okay to have many different opinions and outlooks.  Life would be awful if we didn't!   I can appreciate any point of view that isn't my own.  Genuinely.  I'm okay with people having their own minds.  Please do!!

9.  I love to cook.  Nothing gives me more pleasure than sitting down with my family and eating a full, old school style meal that I've cooked for them.  Hearing my kids say Mom!  This is so good!   The favorite in our house is hands-down my homemade meatballs and sauce.  Now that one is a full day commitment.  But it's so worth it because the grins on all of their faces, hubby included, when I make it - THAT tells me I am awesome!!

10.  At the end of the day I'm awesome because I am me.  I say this over and over and over, to the point where people are probably sick of hearing it....but........love me or leave me.  This is what you get because this is who I am.  

FYI - it's 9:14a.   That's how long it took me to come up with 10 points of awesomeness about myself.  Oy.

Day 14

What's on your iPod?

This cracks me up. My iPod is so random and all over the place. If someone ever got their hands on it they'd think I had mental issues. I think the only genre NOT on it is Jazz.   My musical tastes run far and wide.  I've got Usher, Metallica, Megadeath, Blake Shelton, Tracey Chapman, Enya, Andrea Bocelli, Phil Collins, Barry White, Limp Bizkit, Mary J, Shabba, Adele, Adam Ant, Dave Matthews, Alice Deejay, Live - I could go on forever. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it.  I am a huge music fan. Music is my go to. When I'm having a bad day at work, I pop in my earbuds. When I'm in the car, I'm blasting my radio. When I'm cooking, cleaning, entertaining, the music is playing.  Even when we're Glamping we have the outdoor speakers on when we sit around the fire. I've always loved music. 

I also love that I'm passing my love for music on to my kids. Nothing cracks me up more than sitting in a room and hearing Aidan, Ryan or Erynn singing to themselves in another room. Or when they ask me to turn a song up because they love it.  Music is a wonderful thing. 

Day 13

Do you have regret?

I had to really think about this one.  I remember being asked this question once and I remember saying I regret having cheated on my ex.  I do still regret that because I am not a cheater.  It's something I never thought I'd do.  The circumstances behind it helped lead up to it - I'm not saying that excuses what happened by any stretch.  But there was a LOT of backstory there.  The whole night never should have happened.  

That being said, everything that has happened in my life has led me to be the person that I am today.  I am a firm believer of everything happening for a reason.  I am who I am because of what I have been through, the things that have happened to me, the things I have done, the decisions I have made and the outcomes of those decisions, good or bad.  I have learned my lessons - good and bad - from everything I have done.  I think I am a good person and I like who I am today.  I have to believe that the people who have been in my life like me as well because they've all been around for a very long time.  The friendships I have - the REAL friendships, the ride or die, truthful ones - I've had them for a very long time.  If I wasn't a good person, they'd have left or weeded me out long ago.  So, while I do regret that one action, I do believe it happened for a reason and I do believe it helped make me into the person I am today.  I had something to learn from it.  There isn't anything else I regret.  

Days 9-12

Go figure, I have some catching up to do!   

Day 9 - What's on your life list / bucket list?

Well, I think a bucket list is for people who are dying but I kind of like life list so I'll give it a shot.  There are only two things I can think of right now.  I'm sure there are a LOT more but I have four days of catching up to do so I'm not thinking clearly right now.  
1.  Travel to Ireland.  Hands down, I really want to go.  I've wanted to go for years.  It's just a matter of making it happen.  Getting a passport would be a good step, don't you think??
2.  Do a 5K.  I'm making that happen on Saturday so I'll be able to check that off pretty damn soon.  YAY!

Day 10 - Daily Routine

OMG.  Really?  It depends on the day!!
Mon - Thurs:
4:40a - alarm goes off, get ready for work.  Okay, I prob hit snooze 2 times.
5:40 - 5:45a - leave house.
6:30a - start work
5:00p - leave work, IF I'm lucky.  We'll just say I got lucky and I left on time
6-6:30p - arrive home, cook dinner if I get home first, eat, hang with kids.
7:30p - get kids to bed, lay out clothes for school.
7:45p - lay out clothes for work, get ready for bed.
8-9p - hang out w hubby, then bed.  Try to fall asleep.  If can't read or watch tv a little longer and then go to sleep.

Friday:
6:45a - alarm goes off.
7:00a - wake up Erynn, get her dressed, breakfast, hair done.
7:30a - wake up boys, get them dressed, breakfast.
7:40a - get Erynn on bus.
7:45 - 8:30a - make sure boys did all homework, have eaten, brushed teeth, quiz them on their spelling words.   Leave for school.
8:40a - drop boys off, head in for copying.  Copy for 1-2hrs, depending on how much there is.
Next couple of hours depends on if I have a dr appt or errands to run.
2:30p - get Erynn off bus
3:00p - pick boys up from school.  If it's nice out I take them to the park to play for a while.
6:00p - start cooking dinner.

Saturday depends on what we have going on.
Sunday is laundry day unless we're camping or have something going on.

Day 11 - The last book you read

Ummmmm.  It was Giving In by Maya Banks.   I just started it on Friday and I finished it on Saturday night while we were camping.  Fast reader, remember?

Day 12 - Something that you miss

So, this says something.  Not someone.  So, I choose sleeping in!  LOL.   I don't get to sleep in anymore.  Between the kids and then just getting up so early on the weekdays I don't even know if I'm physically ABLE to sleep in anymore but I sure do miss it.  Granted, I'd probably be mad if I wasted half the day in bed because I'd miss time with my kids and there's always so much to do.........but I miss being able to roll out of bed at 10 or 11a.  Every now and then it would be nice to just sleep in.  Really SLEEP that late.   

Day 8

Biggest Pet Peeve

Why do they keep throwing tough ones out here???  Why can't this be a nice, easy 31 day blog fest?  I guess then it would be called a "challenge" then, would it?

Okay, well, I guess my BIGGEST pet peeve is lying.   I'm not talking your regular, every day, white lie.  I'm talking your not so regular bold faced lie.  The shit you are going to get caught up in.  The crap you spew to 5 different people.  The stuff you can't keep straight.  

Growing up I fibbed.  We ALL did it.  Hell, I'm sure I still tell fibs.  Again, we ALL DO IT.  It's human nature.  I'm not feeling well, I already have plans, I'm leaving now, I'm on my way, yes I already did that.  Yep, those are fairly normal.  But there are some people who just tell lies all.the.time.  I don't know why they do it.   I honestly think some people don't even know they are doing it.  I don't know HOW they don't know they are doing it but I have to give some people the benefit of the doubt.  Other people, well I know they are just straight up liars.  These are the people that I catch telling me one thing and telling someone else a completely different story.  It's either they really can't remember what they tell one person to another or they think that people don't talk to each other or the story changes by degrees because they really just can't keep TRACK of the lies.  This is what seems so ridiculous to me.  I just don't GET it.  

Now me - you will NEVER catch me in such a lie.  I may fib a bit - yes, I like that top or yes, I went to bed early or whatever.  But a bold faced lie - hell to the no.  I spent way too many years being lied to.  By my father, by my sister.  My sister still lies.  To this day.  And she knows that I take everything she tells me with a POUND of salt because I still second guess every.single.word that comes out of her mouth.  You know what - when you are a liar this is the price you pay.  Those who know me may think I'm a damn fool but you know what - give me some frigging credit.  I'm not stupid.  I don't just take everything people tell me at face value.  Including my sister.  Just because you say something to me doesn't mean I believe it.  We're all grown ups.  Can't we just deal in truths?  It may not always be what we want to hear but at least it's the truth.  

A few more of my FAVORITE quotes...........

Don't ever mistake my silence for ignorance.  (there is more but that is the most important part)  Just because I don't say it doesn't mean that I don't already know.

Sometimes I won't admit I know you're lying because I can't admit how I found out.

Once I catch you in one lie, it makes me question everything you said.

So, there you go.  My biggest pet peeve is lying.  

Day 7

What's Your Dream Job?

Oh boy.  This is a tough one!

When I was growing up, it was Cosmetologist.  Um, does anyone even use that term anymore?!  Now it's hairstylist, aesthetician, etc.  I was sure I'd grow up and be doing people's hair.  I wanted to cut hair, I wanted to give facials.  All of it.  Now I'm not sure I could do it.  Unless I owned my own place.  Then I could keep my own hours, make my own money.  Maybe then I could pull it off.  But that's a lot.

Then it switched to Event Planner.  I would LOVE to spend my time planning weddings, parties, that sort of thing.  I love doing that and I have fun getting it done!  I planned my wedding and then two years later I planned one of my good friends' weddings because she lived out of state.  I went to the venue and did all of the planning, planned it.  Then I helped plan my guy bf's (first) wedding too.  I loved it!  Even now.  Just doing my kids birthday parties - I tend to go a little overboard with the themes and such.  Thankyouverymuch Pinterest for turning me into "that" Mom when it comes to my kids birthday parties.  LOL.

Now.........I would love to be a stay at home Mom who gets to volunteer.  But, I'd have to be independently wealthy for that to happen so it's a pipe dream.  For sure.  It's never going to happen. 

I'm pretty happy with what I do now though.  I'm an Executive Assistant four days a week to the Vice President of Global Female Shave Care.  Sounds super important right?   It's not.  It's a day job like everyone else LOL.  BUT.  My boss is super nice.  She's the nicest boss I've ever worked for.   My colleagues are wonderful.  My team treats me well.  For the most part.   My co-workers, the other girls that do the same thing that I do are great.  Sure there is the typical office crap that tends to be everywhere you go, there is no escaping that, but for the most part I am really happy here.  I'm lucky enough to work four days and have three days at home.  Not many people can say that.  Most days I'm happy here and not many people can say that either.  So, while I may not have my dream job, I'm pretty damn happy with the one I've got!

Broken Hearts

We had to say goodbye to Dakota last night.  The kids were too young to remember their grandmothers passing so this is the toughest thing our little family of five has ever been through.  

She was going to the vet yesterday to have a cyst on her eye looked at.  Jan brought her to my Father in Law's house because she wanted to prep us first.  He came over and told us we needed to go to his house.  I knew in an instant what was happening.  John had no idea.  When we got there I said to Jan, it's bad isn't it?  She just said I'm so sorry.   I said is it Cancer?   She said yes.  Dakota has cancer throughout her spleen and it's infested her lungs as well.   Her platelet counts are supposed to be between 40,000 - 50,000.  Hers are at 7,000.   If she bumps into something the wrong way, if she gets bumped the wrong way, she could literally bleed out in your house.  She'll bleed from her ears, eyes, nose, mouth and you won't be able to help her or stop it.  I started crying.  All I could think about were the kids.  They have never known life without Dakota.  We got her when I was pregnant with Aidan - she would have been 10 years old just two weeks from now.  

We brought her home and told the kids that she was very, very sick.  That she was going to live in Heaven with Grandma and Meme.  They started crying.  I started crying.  John started crying.  They asked if they could take a picture with her, each of them, to keep in their bedrooms.  I said of course they could.  Then the questions started.   Erynn wanted to know if we could visit her in Heaven.  Aidan was saying he wished we could just have four more days - just one more camping trip with her so we could take her to the dog park again.   But he didn't want her to be in pain.  Ryan said this was the saddest day of his life and would it be okay to talk about it at circle time in school the next day.  My poor babies were crying for hours.  They are so sad and I felt so helpless because all I could do was hold them - I couldn't fix their hurt.  I've never felt so helpless in my life.  I just said Mommy is so sorry, this is one hurt I can't fix for you.  

I know we did the right thing.  John went with Jan to the hospital and he said Dakota got really bad on the drive there.  Her breathing was labored, she was shaking and crying.  I know she was in pain and we never would have wanted her to suffer.  We wouldn't have wanted the kids to see her like that.  But my heart breaks for my kids and the pain they are feeling.  I wish I could make it all better for them.  

The kids want to bury her in the front yard.  Right by the three trees we planted for them when we built the house.  Aidan said it has to be by those trees so she will always be near them.  :::tears::: for my sweet child.  

RIP Dakota.  We love you and will never forget you.  

2013

5-5-14

Day 6

Your Last Random Act of Kindness

Hmmmmm.  Well, it's a small one - to me anyway.  But I guess it depends on your perspective.  I had a kid free afternoon b/c my kids were at a play date.  A few weeks earlier my bf told me she was going away for the weekend and she had asked me if her hubby wasn't home in time would I be able to watch her twins?  I said sure.  But I didn't hear anything back after that so I totally forgot about it.  Didn't think about it again honestly.  I'm a planner so I nail things down way ahead of time, especially if I know they are set plans, you know?  

So, we're at our hair appt and all of a sudden I hear her talking about how I am going to drive her to the T station and then take her boys for the afternoon.  I was like huh??   I said Ummmm, I'm taking the boys today??   She said yes, I thought you said you'd watch them for me when I went away to VT for the weekend until hubby comes home?   I said yes, 3 wks ago I said sure, I'd do it if you need me to but I never heard back again!  LOL!!   She said oh!  Whooops!   LMAO!   She said you are so organized that I didn't think you'd need reminding.   I said no, I normally don't but you said you might not even need me b/c N might be getting home from work early or whatnot.   To be fair, she's pregnant and I blame baby brain!  

So, I had NO kids of my own from 11:30a to 5:30p but I took on 4 yr old twins for the day b/c my bf was going out of town.   I guess that would be my last random act of kindness because that was only two weeks ago.   It's a small thing to me but to her it was a big deal - giving up my free afternoon to take care of her boys.   I love those two like my own though so it was okay.  We had a great day.  :-)

Day 5

Favorite Movies You Never Get Sick of Watching

Oh, see NOW I'll be here all day!   Movies are such a huge thing for me - I love them!!!  I have a lot that will be playing on TV and I automatically have to stop and watch them.  I know I'm going to forget some but I'll do the best that I can.   There's definitely no order on these - just as they pop into my head!

Under the Tuscan Sun
Devil Wears Prada
13 Going on 30
Two Can Play That Game
Something New
The Quiet Man
Sweet Home Alabama
Walking Tall
She's All That
Coyote Ugly
Practical Magic
Twilight Movies - judge away
Save the Last Dance
Someone Like You
The Wedding Planner
Love Actually
Simply Irresistable
The Family Stone
Soul Food
Because I Said So
Shag
Must Love Dogs
Serendipity
In Her Shoes
The Back Up Plan
The Matchmaker
The Wedding Date
The Ugly Truth
Gone in 60 Seconds
Beauty Shop

I could go on and on. I have shelves in my house dedicated to the movies I could watch over and over.  Literally.  Stop on by and check them out anytime!  LOL!

Day 4

Best Childhood Memory

Oh gosh.  This one is going to be tough.  My brother will tell you it drives him crazy because I don't remember much about my childhood.  I didn't have an awful one.  I had a pretty typical one I think...especially these days.  My Dad left us when I was four, my Mom raised 3 kids on her own.  My grandmother helped her out a lot but she passed when I was 12.  Then I had to watch my brother and sister every day after school until my Mom came home.  When I was 15 yrs old I started working part time at Dunkin Donuts - as soon as I could get that little yellow slip of paper from the school counselor it was game on LOL!   I thought I was big time back then - making tips every day and getting a paycheck.  Watch out now!  But that was pretty typical - it's not unheard of.  We didn't have a lot but we didn't suffer either.  Or at least I didn't know it back then.  Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.  

Anyway.  My favorite childhood memory.  I guess it would collectively be summers at my grandmothers house.  We pretty much would live there with her.  My Mom worked full time as a nurse and when we were off my g-ma would watch us.  She had an inground pool in her backyard and we'd just spend the days swimming away.   We'd sleep on those tri-fold beach chairs on her three season porch when it got TOO hot in the summertime.  Otherwise it was the pull-out sofa in the living room.  We were just water babies for those 2+ months every year and we loved it.  

So I guess that's what I'll go with.

Day 3

What makes you happy?

Well, that's easy.  My family.  If we're going topline, gut reaction answer - there you have it.  My little core family of five makes me happy and is my world.  They are my everything.  Nothing comes before them, nothing matters as much as they do.  That's my short, to the point answer.  

Now, what else makes me happy?  In NO particular order:

- Glamping

- Beach days

- tulips

- dinner / drinks with friends

- monthly dinner with my friends

- my best friends.  They aren't who I thought they once were but they are the tried and true, the ones who always stand by me.  The ones who DON'T judge, the ones who don't talk and think I don't know when they do.  The ones I'm truly safe with and never find out any differently about.  The ones I can always trust.  I can call and know they'll be there.  Who are there for me, my kids, whenever, wherever.  

- my other family.  They aren't all blood but they know who they are.  The non-blood are even more special because they are my chosen family.  The ones I would do anything for no matter what.

- pajama days!

- date nights

- cooking for people - I love entertaining and having people over

- reading

- baking with my kids

- movies

- music

- family vacations

- spring

- fall

- apple picking

- cuddling with my kids

- naps (although who gets naps anymore?!)

- laying by the pool

- spa days (yes, these are far and few between but these make me happy)

- pedicures

- my kids laughing

There are a lot of things that make me happy.  I like to think I'm generally a happy person. I try to always have a smile on my face although I do have my rough patches just like everyone else.  But I'm grateful for what I have.  I'm blessed for everything I've worked for, been given, gone through and will go through.   Everything happens for a reason!

Day 2

So obviously I have some catching up to do.  I am hoping the weekend won't always be a problem but we'll see what happens!!

Favorite Quotes

I have so many!!  I'll try to keep myself in check.  But I'm not making any promises.  I'll only put the ones that actually have WHO they are quoted from.  That will help, for sure.

The most important thing is Family.  - Walt Disney

I am not perfect, but when I look at my children I know that I got something in my life perfectly right.  - Unknown

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.  - Maya Angelou

Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.  I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.  - Al Capone

Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.  - John Lennon

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

I really could go on and on but I'll stop there so I don't get too out of control. :-)

Day 1

Self portrait and 5 random facts about yourself.

(lemme take a selfie is running through my head right now.........I DESPISE that song)

So this is me right this very second.

5 random facts.  I'm going to try and come up with things I've never posted.

1.  I went to my first Red Sox game last year.  Ever.  I've lived in Boston my entire life but I've never gone to a sporting event for any of our teams.  It's shameful honestly.  I am hanging my head right now.  

2.  I don't have a passport.  I'm not proud of this, I've just never needed one.  I've always wanted to travel but the opportunities just haven't presented themselves.  Aside from our honeymoon - but that didn't require a passport.  

3.  I HATE long car rides.  I am an awful road-tripper.  My kids are better than I am.  Our road trip to Maine to see John's college roommate is my absolute maximum.  It's painful.  I wasn't raised in a family that ever did road trips so I think that might be why.  We are raising our kids to be used to them but it's killing me!!

4.  I am obsessed with reading.  I love to read.  I can read a book in one day if we are camping and it's the best thing ever.  (and I'm not talking a mini book.  I'm talking a good 500 pg book.  I'm a fast reader) I will buy new books even though I have a stack 6,7,8 deep on my nightstand.  I'm always looking for something new to read.  I've been known to go on 3 hours of sleep because I couldn't put a book down the night before.  

5.  I don't like wine.  How's that for random?  I've tried so many different kinds, I've tried forcing myself.  I want to be able to go out with my friends for a glass of wine or have a glass of wine by the fire, or when I cook.  I'd love to participate in all of those fabulous "with a glass of wine" cliques you hear/see/read about.  But I just can't do it.  I am a wine failure.  Please forgive me.  

31 Day Blog Challenge

Yet again, I've been slacking.  So it's time to pick this up a notch.  
I'm giving myself a blog challenge.  
May has 31 days, I found a 31 day challenge.  Done and dusted.  
Wish me luck!