Day 21

What is your biggest fear?

My gut answer is dying.  I've always been afraid of death / dying.  For as long as I can remember, as far as I can think back, I've been terrified of it.  If I think about it long enough I'll have a panic attack.  It completely overwhelms me.  I'll panic, break down, cry.  It's debilitating.  But I try not to let it get that far.

Now that I have kids I'm afraid of something happening to them.  I try not to be that batshitcrazy Mom who thinks about it all the time.  I am raising them the right way (I think) so they know right from wrong, don't talk to strangers, don't go with anyone you don't know, make the right decisions, etc.  But I am well aware that there is only so much that I can do as a parent.  BUT, I'm here.  I made it this far.  I'm trying to have faith that they will be okay.  Although this world is a scary as hell place.  Things are SO damn different from when I was a kid and YES I realize my Mom just came out of my mouth but you know what I mean.  I can't even handle watching the news anymore because I am flabbergasted by what I see there!  It scares the hell out of me.  I pray that nothing ever happens to any of those three because they truly are the lights of my life and I can't imagine my life without them.  They are my entire world, my end all be all.