Just like old times..........

this weekend gave me a look back into old times.........with a modern twist. IE: sleepovers that I used to have as an "adult" that now turned into a sleepover with old friend and her son.

So cool.

Friday Christen, whom I've known for 15 years, came over with her son Ronan. We had scheduled a playdate. Well, the playdate turned into an impromptu sleepover. The kids were having so much fun playing and the boys kept asking "can Ronan have a sleepover Mom???" So cute!

Why the heck not?

So, at 8p on Friday night Christen and I took a drive to West Bridgewater to grab the things they'd need to spend the night. I don't remember what time the kids went to bed but the adults stayed up talking until about 2am.

Holy hell. I can't hang anymore. Seriously. No alcohol involved and we were draaagging. ASS. all day on Saturday. How is this possible? How did we get so old?

Back in the day Christen, along with many other friends, and I would stay up all damn night talking (probably drinking lol) and just hanging out. Go to sleep for a couple of hours and get on with the next day. Now? Not so much. Are we really this old??

Saturday was more of the same - the kids spending time playing together. Chris and I went up to Target to get some back to school stuff (really?! already?!) for the kids and then we took them to a paint your own pottery place that afternoon. Christen and Ronan stayed for dinner and then they had to head out.

All the kids have been asking when we'll have another sleepover. I *heart* that they love hanging out so much. Christen and I have been very close friends for a long time and I love that it looks like our kids will follow in our footsteps.

This morning felt like

FALL!!!

I won't lie, I loved it. Fall is, hands down, my favorite season.

The colors. The changing leaves.

The crisp, fresh air.

The decorations - pumpkins, scarecrows, cornstalks, mums.

Apple picking.

Cozy sweaters, boots, jeans.

Right up my alley.

I like summer. I love the pool, love getting my tan on. But nothing tops Fall and I am ready to welcome it!

I'm going to look into a camping trip up to NH at the end of September. We took the kids apple picking when we stayed up at Pine Acres last year and the farm was amazing. Hayrides, petting zoo, bakery, face painting, apple picking, ice cream, it was a mini fair. We loved the place and I can't wait to do it again. This is where we went last year: APPLECREST.

So, don't hate, don't cuss me out but I can't WAIT FOR FALL!!!!

WHAT is up?!

Today is definitely a "day" for me. I'm not sure I can explain but I am all.over.the.place. today. My emotions are up, down, over and around. I can't seem keep my mind focused on anything.

I find myself thinking a lot about my Mom lately and how much I miss her. I wish I could just have one, two, three, a thousand more conversations with her. It's been tough over the last few weeks especially. Wondering what is going to happen. Wondering how I'm going to pull my family through what, I am finally realizing, just may be a crisis. Or pretty damn close to one, as close as I've ever come anyway.

I consider myself to be a very strong person. I usually have a lot on my plate. No pity, I'm not crying, that's just the way things are. Truthfully, the way things have always been for me. That's okay. I was raised very well by my Mom and I can just keep on trucking. But lately, if I'm being honest, I feel like my truck is running out of gas. I have too many pit stops to make along the way and not sure I have enough gas to get there. (pit stops, bills, gas, money, whatever. Same difference, right?)

I'm trying to remain objective, calm and sensible. But I really just want to hit the panic button and scream my bloody head off. I don't talk about this with people. I seem to cycle through the same pattern. I'm good, I can manage, I'm drowning, I think of doing drastic things (um, before you call in the guys with the white coats I do NOT mean to myself or my family.......not that kind of drastic! I'm talking like borrowing from 401K or trying to see if we have anything we can sell to help out.) and then I talk myself out of them. Get back to rational. Get back to level headed. Get back to doing what I have been doing for the past four (plus!) years since John has had a job. Surviving.

They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, I say I wish he would stop thinking I was She-Ra because I'm certainly not. (although, hello, I wouldn't mind the body.......that'd be nice) I would love to hit a break. Just for a few minutes okay, months. I'd love to not have to worry about Peter, Paul, or that guy named Bill that comes every month wanting my dinero. We used to have that luxury. Oh how I wish I hadn't taken it for granted. Hindsight is 20/20 my friends and it's a tough lesson to learn.

I find myself wishing a lot.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.

Wait, no, that's not it.

I wish for some slack.
I wish for no stress when it comes to some things. I can handle some stress, I'd just like some of the financial stress to fade a bit.
I wish for John to get a job.
I wish for strength to get me through.
I wish I could stop wishing. I am not delusional. I know there are MANY people going through very similar things. I do. I'm sorry for them and praying things turn around on their end as well. But I still can't help but wish for my little nuclear family just a tad more. I think that's to be expected. That's normal.

I see many similarities between my Mom and myself. I wish more than ever that she were here so I could ask her HOW the hell she managed to do it on her own. Single mom, working, raising three kids, no child support from my deadbeat Dad. All by herself. I'm not single. I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing Dad. I could not wish for another partner and I wouldn't trade him in for the world. Yes, my running joke is "when I marry for the second time it's going to be for money b/c this love shit gets you nowhere" but John knows this is a joke and he laughs right along with me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm with my partner. I'm happy in my marriage and in my family. I could not ask for more emotionally.

That's not to say he doesn't irritate the hell out of me. Trust. I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. Neither is he. I know for damn sure I irritate him as well. But we've never gone to bed angry and we've only had one big, blowout fight in over 11 years. Communication is key my dears and that we have in spades. I like to think we always will. We're very similar in that regard. We both feel it's important and we put an effort into making sure to keep it.

See, all over the place. Lordy someone put a muzzle on me. Or shut my brain off. Not really because that would be awful but let's just slow it down a tad for now, shall we? Yeah, I know that's unlikely.

Add to the above that there is a meeting at my office today and that just makes it worse. They are planning to do my "offboard" today. Kind of like a roast but a proper goodbye as well. People talk about what they'll miss about you, what you've done, etc. I am 99.9% sure that I'll be shedding some tears. I don't do recognition well. I don't like to show weakness so you will rarely (if ever) see me cry. But I'm pretty sure after being a member of this team for over 10 years I'm going to walk out away with at least a tear or two.

Here's to hoping I'm not a blubbering idiot.

Here's to hoping that I (we) can pull through the current state of our life and move on to better times.

Third time is the charm.........I hope.

John is on his way to his third interview at Fox Hill as I type.

He is meeting with the Director of the entire facility today and I'm praying as hard as I can that he receives an offer. Four years with no job is a bit much and I'm ready to enter a new phase! Here's hoping that this will be the END and we can move up and out of this valley in our lives.

Update - another 30 min interview. He met with the Director of Fox Hill and the Director of HR (again). Interview went really well, they said he'd hear within a few days.

*fingers crossed*

It's that time again.....

Monday morning. AKA as the morning every week where I do NOT want to work, I've slept like crap the night before and I am doing whatever I can do postpone the work for the day. So, I'll recap the weekend.

Friday we had another playdate with the Trout family. This time Cristy invited our entire family over. Aidan, Ryan and Tim are all so close in age and Erynn is less than a year older than her daughter, Emma so she thought it would be great for them all to get together. John came so he could get to know Cristy as well. Again, we had SUCH a great time! We were there from 11a - 430p. We ordered pizza, the kids went swimming and the three adults had a wonderful time just talking and hanging out. The next month is busy with plans and getting ready for school but we did get Sept 16th on the calendar - the Trout family will be coming to our house for a little cookout and drinks on the deck. Can't wait!

Saturday wasn't so hot. I woke up with a migraine and I just couldn't kick it. I spent the day doing laundry and cleaning house. On the upside, it's nice to start off a week with no laundry in the house to be done. Go me. On the downside, Tim's birthday party was Saturday afternoon at 4p and I just couldn't make it. It was hot and muggy outside and would have made my migraine so much worse. John ended up having to take the kids by himself. He was okay with it but I felt bad. The kids had a fantastic time - they didn't even get home until 930pm. Clearly they went right to bed for the night. Unfortunately I didn't have the same luck. I don't know why but I just could NOT sleep on Saturday night. Thank goodness I had a ton of DVR to catch up on because obviously I would much rather watch tv than sleep. *rolling my eyes in case you can't sense the total sarcasm* Finally at 430a I was able to drift off.

Sunday morning I woke up at 8a exhausted but at least my migraine was downgraded to just a dull headache. I had plans to see a movie with Susan so I got up and got ready for that. The kids slept until 930a so we were all able to sit and have breakfast together which was nice. Susan and I made plans last week to go to the movies and had picked out the show, time etc. But when we got to the theater the movie times were different than what had been listed on the site. (this has happened before and it's annoying as hell!) We were over an hour early. So, instead of seeing Crazy, Stupid Love we ended seeing The Help. We really loved this movie! Definitely brought up a lot of emotions. Sadness, anger, frustration, shock. We both cried. I definitely recommend seeing this movie. So good. I still want to see Crazy, Stupid Love and hope to get my butt back to the theater before it's gone.

After the movies I hit the grocery store. Got home, did some more cleaning around the house and then made a Creamy Italian Chicken for dinner. I forgot what a big hit this is. You can find the recipe HERE! (Just search Creamy Italian Chicken) The kids all ate big platefuls with no complaints. I'm going to have to get this back into our rotation. (This and tacos are a sure fire winner) The kids had watermelon for dessert and soon after it was off to bed. I spent the rest of the night making my lunch for work, getting my clothes ready for the week and watching True Blood. Oh yes, that's right, I am a total fangbanger. Not ashamed at all I love love love this show and I look forward to it every week. I've read all of the books too. Good stuff. There, another secret is out. ;oP

Why slavery ended from a 6 yr old perspective....

A: "Mom, who was that guy that ended slavery?"
M: (to myself.......how the HELL do you even know about this at 6 yrs old kid?!) "Ahh, that was Abe Lincoln Aidan."
A: "Do you know WHY he ended slavery Mom?"
M: "Why don't you tell me."
A: "Because Mom! Slavery was mean and rude and fresh!! So Abe Lincoln made it go away because he is a good guy."

Well said Aidan, well said.

THIRD interview!

John got a phone call yesterday........3rd interview for Fox Hill next Monday at 10a.

I am praying as hard as I can and keeping everything crossed in hopes that he get the position. I'm remaining very optimistic. In my mind they wouldn't have him come back a third time if they weren't thinking of hiring him.

Hopefully he gets a job offer on the spot!

Feelings don't suck as bad today...

You know what? I'm going to move on and get over it. My feelings are still a bit hurt but whatever.

I should look at it as a blessing. Now if I want to watch tv or read a book while they are visiting I don't have to deal with C getting pissy at me. (yes, this really happened last time she came.)

I won't have to feel like I have to be "on" and entertain for four days. I won't feel like I need to keep them busy at all times or worry about what they want to do.

I found out today they are renting a car. YAY! No taxi driver profession in my future. No worries about what store she wants to shop at, what mall she wants to visit, etc etc. Again, no worries about what they want to do - they can go and do it on their own now.

Things are looking a bit rosier a day later.

Feelings suck.

I might not come off as the most sensitive person in the world - I have a hard time showing my feelings - but I am very, very sensitive. If I'm being honest I'm probably a little lot too sensitive. I just try not to show it. But I really am.

Case in point. My sister and her fiance are coming up for a visit at the end of the month. It's been planned for months. We're all very excited, can't wait for them to come. I haven't talked to my sister in a week or so which is pretty unusual but she's had a lot going on. Today I sent her an email saying hello and just checking in. I hear back and in come the hurt feelings. Seems that she and my brother have planned that when C&J come up at the end of the month she'll be staying with him and his husband. Yep, my feelings are hurt. They always stay with us. Always. She's positioning it like they didn't want to put any of the kids out since they just got back into their own rooms from M&B moving out but that is NOT the case. It can't be. M&B know that the boys are still sharing a room and that Erynn moved into the room they were staying in. We now have a playroom upstairs and I thought it would be PERFECT for when C comes to visit b/c she'd have her own room with a locked door and everyone would be all set. When we found out M&B were getting their own place it was very important to me that we get this room finished just so they would have their own little space. I am 99.5% positive I'd even mentioned this to her in the past but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on this one.

I think what hurts isn't just that they aren't staying here. I think that it's the fact that they'd make these plans without even trying to include me or discuss with me. Like my input wasn't needed or necessary. Maybe I'm being silly. Probably being overly sensitive but I can't help it. My feelings are definitely hurt.

I understand that M&C don't have kids so they probably wouldn't even think of this aspect but my kids have been VERY excited about their aunts coming and staying with us. Now I'll have to tell them that they aren't staying with us after all and it just sucks. They still ask when M&B are going to come home for crying out loud - they don't fully understand that stuff, you know? So they will be disappointed as well and I HATE it when my kids are let down. Again, none of them have kids so they clearly wouldn't think of it from this angle but I do.

In total truth I'm a bit irritated too. C&J are coming up for 4 days. M only has ONE of those days off from work and he told me he couldn't take any vaca time. M&B only have one car. So this means if I am going to spend time with my sister and her fiance *I* am the one who is going to be driving back and forth all the time to pick them up and drop them off. Since I'm around for her entire trip it would be a hell of a lot easier (and cheaper) if they were staying here. I just don't get it. I probably never will.

I have GOT to develop thicker skin. I really do.

Changes are a'comin!

I can't believe we're already into August! In three weeks we have the open house at school for the kids to meet their teachers. How did this happen?!

It's been a great summer. Lots of camping, lots of family time. I've enjoyed it immensely and, while it's not over yet, I can definitely see the end looming on the horizon and I just can't believe it's so close.

Soon we'll be back-to-school shopping. Clothes, shoes, supplies. (as soon as I can get those lists from the school of course!) We'll be getting back into our more normal routine. No more staying up late on some special nights. We still have three more camping trips on the calendar to look forward to but the October trips are going to feel a lot different from our Summer trips.

I haven't really strayed too far from our "regular" school routine. Bedtimes between 7-7:30p have remained pretty constant unless we are camping. I honestly just didn't want to have a big upheaval when school starts with our nighttime routine. I figure having all three kids in school will be a big enough change in itself. Aidan and Ryan will both be attending full day classes rather than the half days of last year and Erynn starts PreK. She'll be going to school 5 days a week now from 11:30a - 2:20p. No more two days a week at daycare.

September isn't just about the kids' changes....I'll be starting my new job on 9/1 so I'll be making some adjustments of my own. I'll be working Mon - Thurs from 6:30a to 4:30p and working from home 8-10a on Friday mornings. I know I'll enjoy getting home sooner at night......having more family time before bed and I'm totally okay having two hours of work on a Friday morning as well. I don't really think that will interfere with anything. As long as I can still volunteer at school I'm happy. With Erynn going to PreK in the afternoons I don't see it being an issue. I'm eager to find out what volunteering will look like for the boys. I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to do it. Last year I could only volunteer in Aidan's class once. They had certain activities in the afternoon that just weren't conducive to my volunteering. Hopefully I'll be able to do more this year.

Even though we have a lot of changes coming up I'm very excited to see what is in store for this family of five!!

Catching up

It's been a busy week!

I only worked on Monday.

Jury Duty on Tuesday.

Camping Wed - Sun. We went to Pine Acres Resort in Oakham, MA. Up until we booked I'd never even heard of Oakham.

The campground was nice BUT I will admit we probably won't go back. It was a 2+ hour drive and not worth the gas money. I was disappointed because the place pretty much shut down at 7p for kids! What the heck?! The (one) pool they have didn't open up until 11am. Which, by the way, was grossly misrepresented in the photos online and in the brochure. The picture they posted looked HUGE. In person, not so much. It closed at 7p for kids and had adults only swim from 7-9p. They had mini golf but that closed at 7p. So what am I supposed to do with the kids? We did take them for ice cream every night. But still. I was definitely disappointed. Normandy definitely has a lot more going on. One friend mentioned that we did go for two weeknights. But, I didn't find that to be a valid argument b/c at least at Normandy the kids can still swim at night. There was literally nothing for them to do but sit at the camper at Pine Acres.

They did have a pond with a small beach which was nice. We spent two days there because the pond was warmer than the POOL. Not sure how exactly that is possible but that's how it panned out so we spent more time there.

Tiffany and her kids joined us for this trip. Jon U brought the kids up on Wed with him and Tiff joined thurs night after work. Jon left when she got there - they are having problems - but I was just happy to not be involved. We always have a good time when they camp with us and it was nice having them there.

Janet, Jenny and Michael were on the site next to us. The kids were great. My kids loved having their cousins to play with. Jenny and Erynn were inseparable which was a nice surprise considering the 9 yr age difference. We just weren't expecting what went on. That's all I have to say about that to be honest.

Next camping trip is Labor Day weekend. Fri - Mon. We might be going this one alone.....or Tiff and kids might join. Either way we are back at Normandy Farms and more than happy to be there!

Busy beavers

This was one hell of a weekend at the Foley house!

All kinds of projects going on!

We painted two rooms.

Moved Erynn from her old room to her new room. Now that M&B have moved out she went into their room.

Made Erynn's old room into a playroom for the kids. Got alll the toys, books, movies from the family room moved to the upstairs. YAY!

We also got a deck!!

My Father in Law, aka Dad, scored some kind of deal on a pop up and furniture. He grabbed them and told John and I that they were for our anniversary. (10 yrs next month) We didn't have a back deck but in two days we had one! John and Dad started it on Friday and finished it yesterday morning. Thank God for handy men! I'm so excited and completely in love. The deck is roughly 12' x 12' and we have a "gazebo" that is 10 x 10 on it. So the whole thing is covered.

Now, let me explain. I'm not sure what most people think when they hear gazebo but I can tell you THIS is what I thought of:

Quite honestly i said what the heck am I going to do with that? I don't need a gazebo! HOWEVER, what Dad really found was this:

Um, totally different things lol. So, now that we have that straightened out.

John and Dad built a deck in two days. They are amazing! Here is our anniversary gift lol:



I am 100% in love. We sat there all afternoon with my gf and her kids and it was SO nice. John is already telling anyone who has seen it that I'll be spending a lot of time out there reading. Yeah, I'm sure he's right!!

Operation "First Playdate" Complete!

We had our very first "official" playdate on Saturday.

I say first official because, while we've had lots of gtg's with friends and such, this was the first playdate we had with a classmate from school. I had only met the Mom, Cristy, once in the pkg lot while picking Ryan up one day.

I had NO idea what to expect at all. Should I bring something? Should I plan on being there for 30 min? An hour? Longer? What to do?! I was very nervous because I didn't know Cristy. I know I don't come across this way but I am shy around people I don't know. I am self concious and I get really anxious. Silly, but true.

Ryan and I got there at 10am. We brought a box of munchkins because I don't like going anywhere empty handed and that is what Ryan wanted to bring. Hope they like donuts! (I was second guessing this because what if they have allergies? What if they don't allow the kids to eat donuts? What should I do - GAH you can go crazy overthinking this stuff!) Tim was waiting on the porch when we pulled in along with his little sister Emma. So cute.

We got in and the boys started playing right away. Cristy and I sat down at the kitchen table. We really clicked! We have so much in common. The kids went outside to swim about 11:15am or so. They swam and then wanted to go back inside. Cristy asked Ryan what he would like for lunch. I wasn't expecting to stay for lunch! I asked her if she was sure that she was up for that and she insisted we stay. Well, okay then.

We were there until 3:30pm!!! 5.5 hours for our first playdate ever! I had never expected to stay that long but we had such a great time. Cristy and I chatted like we'd known each other for years. Ryan didn't want to leave at all. I told him we had to get going because I needed to go to the grocery store to get something for dinner. Before we could leave Cristy put another playdate on the books lol. This time she wants me to bring all three kids! Emma is only 6 mon younger than Erynn and she would love for them to play. Aidan is so close in age to Tim and Ryan that she'd love for him to come too. Okay then!

Second official playdate is August 12th. I am totally looking forward to it!